The words ‘MICHAEL BAY’ flashed across our screen as we broke out into confused laughter. Our goat had just waltzed up to a petrol station, licked the pump and then headbutted it to cause a massive, screen-filling explosion that sent us flying across the road and into an oncoming lorry. Our score multiplier – caused by licking the pump, blockbuster explosion and air-headbutting the lorry – racked up tens of thousands of points as our apparently invincible super goat stood up to take out the second pump, all the while shaking our head at what just unfolded.
Welcome to the world of Goat Simulator, a unique oddity that pokes fun at the rise in popularity of simulator games on PC and console, using purposefully broken physics and surreal humour to its advantage. Playing as a mixture of an old Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater game and a Unity tech demo, you can merely go around causing senseless and needless destruction, terrorising low-polygon individuals and try and create ridiculous chains of events that propel your goat across the entire map to claim a ludicrous, YouTube-worthy high score.
While it’s definitely fun and an experience well worth having, it can get a bit old quite quickly. To counter this there are a list of inventive achievements to complete; these include simple tasks such as flinging yourself high into the air, and stranger ones like becoming queen of the goats by finding a secret goat castle. The touch controls are a little janky, but then, this is a game where we were sent sky-high into the air by mis-timing a web sling before falling through the scenery into nothingness: it’s par for the course and a bit intentionally silly, like the rest of the game. In fact, silly really is the best way to describe-goat Simulator. Silly, dumb, short-lived fun. • iPad+ | iOS 6.0 | £2.99/$4.99 | v1.0.1 http://bit.ly/goatsimulatoripad • Android | OS 4.0.3 | £2.99/$4.99 | v1.0.1 http://bit.ly/goatsimulatorand • You may also like the latest impossibly slim waterproof sony xperia z3 compact android tablet.